Looking for a Valentine? Meet my Fusband

I’ve been happily married for 30 years. OK, truthfully, most of it has been happy. What long marriage hasn’t been dented a bit? Still, I wouldn’t trade it for the single life. This is why, as we approach yet another Hallmark holiday, I’m focusing outward to help others find love.

This is a heartfelt Valentine to all the women still searching for their person.

Meet Rob: he’s my FUSBAND — a wonderful man for someone else. Maybe someone out there!

It’s not a typo. FUSBAND.

The endearment started as a joke — FUSBAND and FIFE. As faux husband and faux wife, we’ve been an integral part of each other’s lives. It’s only right he should find true love like mine. And he’s husband-tested but his heart’s been broken.

After so much heartache, I’ve decided that maybe Rob needs to meet someone the old-fashioned way — by having a matchmaker. And who’s better than someone who can give a good reference? I’m a friend and FIFE who knows.

Before you toss your hat in the ring, here’s the story:

In 1990, I could tell my new boyfriend was getting serious because he wanted to introduce me to his friends. Rob was the first one he chose. As we walked into the Greenwich Village restaurant, I was strategically placed between them. Rob was explained to me as more than just a friend; he was like an older brother and mentor to this new man in my life. He was on crutches, having survived a near-fatal car accident the year before. I put my best efforts into winning him over.

They were so different; and my mother would have preferred Rob.

Jonathan was a rough-around-the-edges Staten Islander whose parents were artists while Rob was a suave Philly boy from what my mother called ‘a good family’. Jon was just breaking into the music business while Rob had industry connections. His father had been Bob Marley’s attorney, and he had been on tour working for the Scorpions before his accident. Jon was wardrobe-challenged, while Rob always knew what to wear. Rob was Jewish and very spiritual…